Boudie Talk! with Ms. K

We’re switching things up today and posting an interview with a real-life boudoir client! Thanks so much to Ms. K for sitting down and sharing her experience with us!

What made you choose Andrea Murphy Boudoir?

I’ve known Andrea personally for 7 years, and I admired her work before then. She was the only photographer in town that I considered when I got engaged and to this day I still love every one of my engagement photos because she’s that talented! As I’ve grown as a photographer myself, I’ve come to realize she’s a light and posing master. I wish I knew what she knows! So when it came to booking a boudoir session, there was no question who I’d choose. I knew that if anyone could make me feel comfortable and look amazing, it was her.

I know that you told me that you chose to do this as part of your infertility journey, can you tell us a little bit about that?

I’ve been going through Infertility treatment for two and a half years and had I recognized some of the symptoms as actual symptoms, I could probably add on an additional two years to that. Infertility is a really hard subject for most to talk about, especially women. As women, we are essentially raised with the expectation that we are going to have children, but no one talks about all the different ways to get to that end result. I fully expected to have at least two children by the time I turned 30, and be living the life of Mom and Wife. Instead, my life at 30 has been two and a half years of constant medication changes trying a few different ways to get pregnant. With each failed treatment, it is a reminder that my body isn’t doing what “it’s supposed to do” and that’s difficult to live with every day. Infertility is a journey that brings up so many emotions like depression, fear, guilt, shame, jealousy, etc. Infertility is also something that impacts every single facet of your life from your relationship with your spouse/partner, siblings, parents, friends, and other family members.
About a year ago, I finally decided that I wasn’t going to go through this journey alone and that I was going to make this worth something (in the off chance that I may never carry a child). So, I decided to start educating those around me. I realized that I was consistently letting things get to me and that people were going to continue to say things to me with good intentions, and have no idea the hurt it could cause. It started slowly, by just posting a quote here and there on Social Media, and it’s grown so much since then.
I’m the lead of a Fertility Support group at my office and have had an article published amongst our international organization about the impact that the community has had on me and our office. I’ve made so many new friends just by being open to answer questions and tell my story to others, and my friends and family are so much more knowledgable now. Before I think they were so sensitive towards my situation that they were afraid to ask questions, but now they truly show their support by asking what the processes are, where I’m at in my journey, and if there’s anything they can do to help in further ways.

What inspired you to have a boudoir session?

When I found out that my first IVF transfer didn’t work, it was right around my 30th birthday. I knew going into this milestone birthday could make or break me. In order to start the healing process, I really needed to let it break me for a little while. I went through the stages of grief and reached out to those around me for support. Probably the most important thing that my infertility journey has taught me is self-love and grace. It’s a very easy road to fall into depression and anger and just cave towards the feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and bitterness for everything that my body isn’t doing. With all the medication I’ve been on, it’s incredibly difficult to lose weight. The changes in hormones significantly impact my mood at the drop of a hat, and with each pregnancy announcement I see my heart aches more than I’d like to admit.
It’s much harder to look beyond all of that. I decided that I wasn’t going to let my 30th year be stamped with depression and anger. I decided that I was going to focus on all the blessings in my life. It’s a long slow road, but I’ve learned to start loving my body the way that it is. Starting to accept who I am as a person is bigger than just this struggle. My journey as a human being is bigger than just this struggle. So, I’ve chosen to take the harder road. To start focusing on the things that I can control! I’ve made time for friends and family and seeing those people who love and support me. I’ve focused on trying to work out as much as I can to reward my body for what it can do. I’ve prioritized self-care and have taken time to do things for myself like getting massages, getting my nails done, taking baths, etc. Then I decided that there were 2 things that I really needed to do for myself. The first was to get a tattoo in acknowledgment of this journey I’ve been on. A reminder that life is beautiful despite all the individual struggles we go through. The second was to do a boudoir session with Andrea. I knew I had to do the session to really celebrate my body and all the hard work I’ve put in the last couple of years. To celebrate the fact that I’ve gotten to this point where I’m comfortable and confident in my body the way that it is. To feel good about myself and be able to really be proud of it! The session is a visual representation of this journey and my beautiful struggle.

Did anything surprise you about your session?

I was really nervous, which is something I didn’t expect. Generally, in front of and behind a camera, I’m really comfortable! This was a completely different experience as I was truly being vulnerable in ways I haven’t been before. What was equally as surprising was how quickly that feeling went away. By the time I was done with hair and makeup and that first click of the camera had happened, all my worries went away.

What was your favorite part of the boudoir experience?

I’m not sure that I can really pinpoint one specific part of the experience! The hair and makeup ladies from Primp were amazing and made me feel so put together and beautiful. Andrea, as I said earlier, is a lighting and posing master so with each pose she was so specific and gave direction so well, and I knew the photos would look amazing. As a fellow photographer, she asked me if she could play around with some different lighting techniques, and of course, I was more than happy to play along because who doesn’t love being a part of something new?! Even going into the Viewing session, all my fears melted away when I saw the final images.

What would you say to someone considering a boudoir session?

Do it without hesitation and you will never regret it. I had been going back and forth about booking this session for 2 years, and now I’m upset that I didn’t book it earlier! As women, we need to celebrate who we are and the impact we make to those around us. Some of us get our nails done, get our hair done, work on our bodies, we take care of friends and family, and we sacrifice our time for others – but do we ever really celebrate those things, in a visual or physical way? A boudoir session is something that you can do for yourself, and at the end of the day have something physical to hold and even gift to someone else! If you have a daughter, you could show her (in appropriate timing of course) how proud you were of your body and how strong you are as a woman, and that you have these amazing beautiful photos to show for it.